|Don't Buy The Stripe Hype...|
|Written by Cotter|
|December 15, 2013 11:45|
I had written something thoughtful and retrospective for this week's preview, but this morning, I scrapped the whole thing.
Screw* feeling sorry.
Screw* the Bengals.
And screw* the haters.
* - "screw" = substitute a verb with one less letter that starts with 'f'
No one is taking this game lying down.
The Bungles didn't just stop being the Bungles, they're waiting for us to bring it out of them.
We came to kick ass and chew bubble gum, and the Big League Chew pouch has been empty for a week.
Now, I'm gonna pass the mic to Timothy so he can say his piece.
Tim's Tea Party:
Well, the Dolphins pulled an Ace Ventura and all but officially ended the Steelers playoff hopes this past Sunday.
Well the Dolphins and Antonio Brown’s left foot. But let’s be realistic. The Steelers defense again showed its age on Sunday and the rift between Big Ben and Todd Haley seems to grow by the play call.
It never seems to get any easier, but what do you expect? And now there are ridiculous rumors out there of Huggy Bear being a candidate for the University of Texas job.
And all it took was a last minute loss to the Dolphins. You know, the team that in recent times is better known for bullying than for winning anything.
Ugh. Let’s just play out the last three weeks and be optimistic about next year shall we?
As for this week, the Steelers welcome the Bengals to the friendly confines of Heinz Field. The team that for the better part of 20 years stunk…badly. The team started going downhill because of this play in Super Bowl?
Then this happened on the very next play...
And you know who was playing for the Bengals at the time? This handsome devil...
Fast forward to today and this guy matches up against Ben this weekend...
But the big matchup is between the WRs. Antonio Brown is 4th in the league in receiving yards (1,241) and 2nd in receptions (90) and Optimus Prime (See what I did there with AJ Green) is 6th in yards (1,175) and 5 in receptions (78). Pretty impressive. That means a division generally known for its bruising running game and nasty defense now has competent receivers who can actually catch the football. Score one for progress! This game is highlighted by Steelers fan who are now looking forward to the Draft and Bengals fans who are just happy that incompetence seems to be a thing of the past for the Bengals. But 20+ years of shitting the bed is a hard thing to forget in such a short amount of time.
I’m gonna watch the game anyway.
Lastly, I’m going to leave you with this thought. Pittsburgh just isn’t filled with the young whippersnappers it used to have on the team. The front office will need to turnover more players this year and get younger. With that being said, it may be best to say goodbye to players such as Brett Keisel and Lamar Woodley. Look I love the guys, but you have to admit they can’t stay healthy and the production is no longer there. They also count a lot against the cap. Kiss they’re forward, smack’em on their butt and say thanks for everything but we need to move on. That may seem harsh, but that’s what they did with the likes of Farrior, Hampton, and Smith to name a few. And who knows, they may turn out to be great dancers.
Well, that’s it for me. As always, pinky up bitches!
And just to make this week's preview even more unorthodox, I also decided to include Meeting People Is Easy.
So, have at it, you animals.
Click to enlarge...
Thanks so much as always to this week's stunningly handsome panel!
You guys are the wind beneath my wings.
Now, this week's Miscellaneous items, and then I'm out.
Last week, I mentioned that I'd be using the Miscellaneous sections leading up to Christmas to countdown the top five scenes from some of the choicest Yuletide films. So, this week, it's all Home Alone, all day.
1) Buzz, can I sleep in your room?
3) Why the hell are you dressed like a chicken?
4) Two, we have smoke detectors.
5) The most obvious of the bunch.
So, you guys do what you want, but I'm gonna root my ass off for the Steelers tonight.
Whatever happens, I'll see you on the other side.
Andy Dalton is a ginger joke.
Here we go.
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