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Dead Men Walking


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Season's Over... E-mail
Written by Cotter   
June 29, 2010 09:00
colonblow

So, science has confirmed...we've officially got a Colon blow.

God has given the Steelers a Colonoscopy.

Looks like our Colon's in pretty bad shape...

And other such painfully unfunny plays on Willie Colon's last name.

WillieColon

This development has, of course, sent a shudder through Steeler nation.

Like the consumer confidence index, the Steeler fans' confidence index is also [somewhat] in the crapper.

At least for a pocket of Steeler nation from what I've seen, anyhow.

Holy baby Jesus, first they traded Sansmokio (who is still scheduled to serve a four games suspension, by the way) to the Jets for a bag of balls.

Then Ben is suspended 4-6 games for being accused of and not charged with something...

Then Limas Sweed goes down...

Now, Willie Colon!

What WILL the Steelers do?

Probably not get penalized 10 yds on every other offensive down, for starters.



Couldn't help myself.

So this hasn't been the smoothest offseason for the Steelers.

SO. WHAT!

Overcoming adversity is a part of competition.

If football games were determined in the headlines, they wouldn't even bother playing the games.

Obviously losing your best offensive player for at least the first 25% of your season isn't ever going to be something to cheer about.

But heretofore, Limas Sweed's greatest NFL achievement was laying out a Raven in a playoff game in which he couldn't catch a sure TD pass...


Not like Wide Receivers should be catching passes or anything.

And hey, Willie Colon may have been a solid starting lineman for the last three seasons.

But if I had a dollar for every time he ended up under "Things That Made Me Want to Stick Hot Coals Down My Pants," I wouldn't be shitting myself over how I'm going to pay my bills next month.

Let's just settle down for a second.

The things that have transpired this offseason are NOT going to ruin 2010 for the Steelers.

They certainly aren't helping in any way...

But in football, you plan every game according to what you think will help you win.

Everybody wants to talk about the AFC North like, oh, the Ravens had the best offense in the division last season, how will the Steelers ever compete?

Ray Rice is the other Purple Jesus.

Joe Flacco's got Anquan Boldin and Donte Stallworth to throw to now.

Their line is one of the best in the game.

AND they've got Captain Cockeater...
queerravensfan

True, true, true and very true.

I'm not going to pretend like the Ravens aren't the team to beat in the AFC North.

But a lot can happen between now and the first time the Steelers play them on October 3.

Hell, a lot can happen over the course of a 17 week season!

Might the Steelers go 4-12?

Sure, that's a possibility.

But I'll wait for it to happen before I start filling the Three Rivers with saline from my ocular cavities.

Tampons blazing is no way to go into a new season.

The Steelers brought back Larry Foote, Antwan Randle El and Bryant McFadden.

Troy Polamalu and Aaron Smith are healthy.

Last year, Rashard Mendenhall rushed for 1100+ yards.

Mike Wallace finished in the top 5 of rookie WRs in terms of receiving yds.

Hines Ward had his best season since the last time the Browns made the playoffs.

Lamarr Woodley had 13.5 sacks.

The Steelers drafted two exciting WRs and what could be a monster RB.

I could spend my entire day coming up with reasons why the chips are stacked against the Steelers in 2010.

But I'm wasting enough time this summer trying to relearn everything I was supposed to have learned over the last three years of law school.

I ain't got any more time to spare.

Take things as they come.

Enjoy Steeler football for what it is.

And save your tears for the next time Versus shows Field of Dreams...


Holy shit, I love you, Dad!

I'm already getting psyched for Latrobe...


Who's with me?

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