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Let's Try This Whole "Hell" Thing Again... E-mail
Written by Captain Planet   
December 07, 2009 08:56


Like the man in the video says, we don't have to tell you that things are bad.

Yesterday, the Steelers allowed Bruce Gradkowski to go 20/33 for 308 yards and THREE TDs (and not ONE INT).

Shit, we still have no idea who Louis Murphy is...besides the guy who caught only four balls the whole game, but did so for 128 yards and 2 TDs, all in the 4th quarter.

And we're not going to dwell on why the Steelers have lost four in a row.

THAT is what it is.

The reality is, some days you win and some days you lose.

Teams like the RAIDERS would be happy to ONLY lose four in a row sometimes.

The Steelers didn't deserve to win that game, and so they lost.

But they've got three days to put it behind them, and say "We're mad as hell, and we're not going to take it anymore!"

They're statistically still alive in the playoff race.

Whether they have any realistic chance of winning, should they get in (by some Christmas miracle), is a question we don't need to answer right now.

But even if they aren't playing for January, they're playing for pride.

6-6 isn't where anyone thought they'd be after the 1st week in December.

Everyone's talking about a Super Bowl hangover.

Everyone's saying they can't close.

Instead of "unleasing hell," the Steelers need to GET MAD AS HELL!

They win the next four games and they've gone 10-6 for the year.

They still haven't lost a game this season by more than 6 points.

A few more things go their way and they're 10-2 right now.

We're not going to cry about 6-6.

We're not going to talk about playing for a draft pick.

We're going to continue to love the Steelers and hope that this latest egg on their face will be the last of the 2009 season.

The Raiders embarassed you.

GET MAD!

Everyone's saying your season is over.

GET MAD!

They're saying you don't belong in the post season (and at this point, we're not saying they're necessarily wrong).

GET MAD!

Get mad and make a move!

You've got four games left.

Gotta win 'em all.

Make 'em count.

Stand up and yell, "THINGS HAVE GOTTA CHANGE! WE'RE MAD AS HELL AND WE'RE NOT GONNA TAKE IT ANYMORE!"

Anyways, we'll step down from the soapbox now and get back to doing what we do best (debatable). Below are our "Things That Were Awesome" (should be interesting, right?), "Things That Were Not Awesome," and "Things That Made Us Tom Cable The Wall."

Read up, and we'll see you in the comments.

Things That Were Awesome:

1. Benjaya Is OUR American Idol
Benjaya2

This man only missed on six passes. He had a 75% completion percentage, and threw two TDs passes that were sexier than our girl, January Jones.

We're sure that many of you are going to point out the interception he threw in the end zone.

Yeah, we saw that too.

But with the game on the line in the 4th quarter, he helped put the Steelers in a position to win twice.

This man had a concussion last week?

Could've fooled us.

How about the broken play he improved for a QB keeper, the play before his TD pass to Hines Ward?

ben1

Balls to the wall.

2. Master Woodley
woodley

That is easily the best game photo we've ever seen.

The Karate Kid right here had eight tackles (six solo), two sacks, three tackles for a loss and three QB hits.

The Cobra Kai would've shit all over their tighty whities if they had to face Lamarr Woodley.

The Wood was solid as Oak for the second straight week.

Now, if only he could play Safety...

3. Sant
santoak

Sant finished the day with eight catches for 149, and a touchdown. Can't ask for much more...

When the Steelers were down and the crowd was all but out of the game, Sant entered stage right and made an incredible effort on the long pass play from Ben, eventually setting up Mendenhall's three yard TD run.

Everyone needed that....

He is easily the most reliable offensive weapon for Ben. Every time he touches the ball, he makes something happen. This is one of the positives you NEED to take away from this game.

If anyone gave a shit about the Pro Bowl, we'd say Santonio deserves a trip.

Or at least a hit...
santoniosuperbong

4. The Running Game
mendyoak

After the announcers busted Mendy's balls about only having -2 yards in the first quarter, he ripped off a sixty yarder.

In yo' face, Dan Dierdorf.....

Against the NFL's second worst rush defense, Mendenhall ran it twenty times for 103 yards.

Can he copyright that spin move? He does it on every run...

In all seriousness, the Steelers lost but, how complete is the offense looking? Just gotta convert some more red zone opportunities and they would be one of the more dominant offenses in the league.

Right?

Right?

Come on......we want to remain positive, here.

HOW DID THEY LOSE, AH FOR F%*K SAKE!!!?!?!

5. The O-Line
benlinemen

Ben had time and Mendy found the holes (that's what she said?) because the O-line played well.

They only allowed one sack and that was on a third and six, facing the blitz.

We'll take it.

Yeah we know we may be reaching here but, getting Kemo healthy and the line playing consistent will make things interesting the rest of the way.

Someone take these men to a Sizzler.

Things That Were Not Awesome:

1. Ouch
4thdowns

2/2 on 4th down.

Even worse, 2/2 on 4th and 1, the first of which set up the Raiders first field goal that tied the score 3-3, and the second of which set up the Raiders (1st) go ahead score in the 4th quarter.

We have no explanation for this whatsoever.

Especially the second one.

Gradkowski keeper gets TWO yards on 4th and 1?

We saw Big Snack get absolutely dominated.

Oh, and did we mention the Raiders had their only two backup offensive linemen in the game at that point?

benmad

A picture is worth 1000 words...

2. 4th and 1
tomlin

Hey, we've got an idea.

Let's go for it on 4th and 1 and thrust our concussed QB head first into a pile of large mammals.

OR, how about we just find a sledge hammer and smack him upside the head with it?

We can't say we didn't support the decision to go for it on 4th and 1 from the Raiders 5 yard line, at the time.

Sure, in hindsight, those three points we gave up would've been nice come the 4th quarter, but three more chances to try and get six would've been nice too.

One thing we categorically did NOT support, however, was the means chosen to do so.

Mendenhall? Carey Davis even?

Not important, let's just move on...

3. Wasting Good Field Position
1stdrive

On the opening kickoff, Stefan Logan finally broke through for an 83 yard run back.

The Steelers set up shop at the Raiders 19, and we smelled first blood.

Three plays and four yards later, we were kicking a field goal.

We'll take three points on the first drive every day of the week, but it would've been nice if we could've put up six instead.

Still, complaining about this is like still complaining that you didn't score on prom night.

Let's be honest, you were lucky to have a date that wasn't your Mom.

...Note to selves: file under "jokes that didn't work."

4. "The Steelers have allowed seven plays of 40 yards or longer in their last four. They gave up only two such plays last season"
snack

Sickening.

5. Joe Burnett's Dropped INT

No picture. Only tears....

Seriously though, the dude was brought in for what seemed like the first time in the regular season, what did you expect?

He put himself in excellent position and had a chance to do something big (win. the. game.)..... he just couldn't close.

Lesson learned - stop hanging out with Limas Sweed and Ike Taylor.

Things That Made Us Tom Cable The Wall:

1. We're Not Even Comfortable Referring To Them As A Secondary
louismurphy

When asked about the Steelers playoff chances after yesterday's game, Brett Keisel said - "The ball isn't in our hands anymore."

Then, Big Ben replied with what we imagine our response would've been as well - "You guys probably would drop it anyway."

We already mentioned Joe Burnett's failure.

But apparently, "Face Me" Ike Taylor had such a game that he could find himself riding the pine come Thursday evening.

Willie Gay got abused by everyone, including his own teammate.

And speaking of Ryan Mundy, what a time for an unnecessary roughness penalty. Thanks.

Ryan Clark was nowhere to be found on the 75 yard Louis Murphy debacle (among other plays).

At least Tyrone Carter kept warm...
carterwarm

2. No Words
final

14 teams didn't even score 21 points in an entire game this weekend.

The Raiders scored 21 points in less than 15 minutes.

The only way to describe how we feel about that is...


Unexplainable...
silverback

3. Bruce Gradkowski, Superhero
grad

We'll say it again - 308 yards for THREE touchdowns.

What?

THAT was Bruce Gradkowski?

The dude whose ass was kicked at Heinz Field twice before?

Nooooooooooooooooooooo way.

Clearly, Jeff Garcia got back in uniform.

Seriously though, Bruce, hand in your yinzer card......once you torch the Steelers, you are no longer from Pittsburgh.

oh and ps: It's over. Nice career, JaMarcus.

4. HOLDING!!
holding

James Harrison gets held on every single play, this is a fact. Blaming the refs is what Ravens fans do (yes, we say this all time - the message needs to be sent), but someone needs to save James from his weekly raping.

Re-watch the final Raiders drive (if you're not eating) and watch Keisel and Eason. Their jerseys were more twisted than a Richard Simmons tank top.

Then again, they say you could call holding on every single play.
blameofficiating

This point is - "whatever."

5. "The Steelers have now lost FOUR, in a row!!"
cliffjumper

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!

Other Things That Are Only Marginally Related:

1. Do something good for the world and get yourself a few autographs. Tomorrow night (Tuesday, 12/8), Lamarr Woodley, Willie Parker, Dennis Dixon and Ziggy Hood will be at the Mall at Robinson where in exchange for a toy donation, they'll put their John Hancock on anything you want...within reason, of course. Times are tough for everyone, but if you can help make someone less fortunate's Christmas a little brighter, that should be reason enough. A few strokes of a sharpie from some Steelers players is just an added bonus.

Here are the full deets...

Members of the Pittsburgh Steelers, including LaMarr Woodley, Willie Parker, Dennis Dixon and Ziggy Hood will lead the toy drive from 6 to 8 p.m., Tuesday, Dec. 8, at The Mall at Robinson. The players will sign autographs in exchange for the donation of a new, unwrapped toy to benefit Children’s Child Life Department. The Child Life Department provides support, education and assistance to children, teens and their families who are adjusting to illness or hospitalization through programs and services appropriate for children’s developmental, emotional and educational needs
.

The toy drive will be located on the upper level of The Mall at Robinson, near Macy’s, and all toys and any additional donations from the two-hour event will benefit Children’s, a nationally recognized pediatric hospital. 77kids by American Eagle will make a donation of $5,000 to help ensure each child receives a toy this holiday. FedEx Ground will be on hand to act as Santa’s sleigh, delivering the packages to the hospital in its Special Delivery Van, which is part of a nationwide program that provides transportation and logistical assistance for community and non-profit organizations. One autographed item per person, please. No photographs of the players permitted.

2. Stephanie Galbraith is a Steeler fan who is the running to become the "NFL Director of Fandemonium." Go vote for her and let's at least beat the Bengals in something...... [Link]

3. Steeler fans, super smart.
twitterbob

4. We play the Browns in like 20 minutes. Get ready.

5. Hines is "very questionable" for Thursday with a Hamstring injury

OK, so...... if you're still forcing yourself into some playoff optimism (like us) here's a look at the Jaguars, Jets, Dolphins, and Ravens schedules (all are in contention and we're assuming the Broncos have the 5th seed locked)...

Jaguars...
jaguars_sched

Easily see them going 1-3 in that stretch. Fingers crossed.

Jets...
nyjsched

Also, 1-3 is a legit possibility.

Dolphins...
dolphinssched

Week 17, bring it.

Ravens -
ravenssched

First off, fancy schedule you dicks. Really? Is this necessary? Secondly, they play the Packers tonight. Let's Go Pack!!!

So that's who we are rooting for/rooting against.

Hope this helps.....

Playoffs?

"Hey, it could happen"
angels

Regardless of what happens the rest of the season, we're still planning on watching every single play of every single game.

We still plan on wearing our jerseys and waving our Terrible Towels.

That's what Steeler fans do.

We suggest you follow suit....

Keep the faith (?) !!!!!!

HERE WE GO, STEELERS, HERE WE GO!

If you haven't already, become a fan of OFTOT on Facebook, join the blog network and follow Cotter and Steve on Twitter. Or don't. Your choice, really.

Comments (8)
  • Grumpy
    avatar
    I will follow suit, but how does the once most dominant defense ever conceived not hold a lead for 1:56 against that offense?
  • Cotter
    avatar
    See "Things That Made Us Tom Cable The Wall," point 1.
  • Erin K  - Here We Go!!!!
    avatar
    If it matters...and in case God is listening...I do believe in miracles!!!!

    Thanks for the solid recap boys- I am glad you are still with us!

    Go Steelers!!!
  • Diego
    avatar
    Gotta love this group harakiri thing you`ve got going on here.
    It`s the only way to swallow a loss like this one
  • Phil Catelinet
    avatar
    Great recap. I will be cheering for the Packers tonight against the hated Ravens. And drinking heavily should their efforts come up short.

    And I'm going to the Packers-Steelers game in two weeks. I just hope we still have something to play for by then.
  • Weezer  - Holy crap
    avatar
    are you friggin serious? This team does not deserve to play anyone. Look for a great rebound loss Thursday. Quinn gonna eat Joe Burnett for lunch bitches. Just kidding,,bitches
  • Cotter
    avatar
    Spoken like a true fan...

  • tecmo  - aSDFhfdhab
    avatar
    But even if they aren't playing for January, they're playing for pride.

    this
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