[NOTE: Fair warning - this video contains unsavory language that may upset your delicate sensibilities, as well as me drinking a coors light, which I think we can all agree is just downright offensive. So, you know, don't watch if you can't handle the thunder.]
Some of you may remember this, but for many of you, you may either have no clue this gloriousness ever existed or may have blocked it from your memory for draining you of precious brain cells.
BUT once upon a time, longer ago than I care to remember, the artist formerly known as tecmo_bowl_bo_jackson (indeed, that tecmo) and I thought to add video to our internet repertoires, and the result is what you see above.
The outtake reel usually ended up some order of magnitude more entertaining than the actual show (hence why I put it at the top of this post), but we tried our best anyhow.
Needless to say, we only did this for like two seasons, because a) it required way more work than it looks like it did, b) living in opposite ends of the vast Manhattan expanse did not exactly lend itself to seamless collaboration, and c) being entertaining on camera is a whole lot different from being entertaining with words, not that I've come anywhere near mastering either.
I'm sure you're as disappointed as I am that I'd announce my reemergence using what could be one of the worst songs ever made.
But let's be real, this is far from the first time I've let you guys down.
Nevertheless, yes, my friends, consider this my official commitment to try and ressurect OFTOT from what would otherwise be its internet grave**.
I may be a couple of years rusty, but make no mistake, I will not let that stop me from providing the same 6th grade level humor and photojobs you've come to love or loathe, depending on how big of a dick you are.
Now, given that the nature of "blogs" has changed drastically in the last couple of years, I'm not going to bore you with the same news reporting you could read literally millions of other places on the information superhighway.
I will, however, attempt to continue the tradition of providing what you might questionably call commentary on upcoming games, and recaps of those games, from as ill-informed a perspective as possible (the rest you can get from me on the twitter).
But, at least there should be lots of pictures, animated gifs and video, for those of you with the attention span of an adolescent spider monkey.
Look, there's one now.
Man, I'm really gonna miss leaning heavily on that one. Probably the best shit I've ever done. Pour one out for James Harrisassin.
So, listen, I love the Steelers, you love the Steelers, why not love them together by regularly high fiving each other through the tubes of the world wide web?
Raise your hand if you're fired up for Steelers football.
Here we go.
** required legalese: note, "commitment to try" does not constitute commitment to succeed.
If you haven't already, become a fan of OFTOT on Facebook, and follow Cotter on Twitter. Or don't. Your choice, really.
Ok, here's the deal - what follows is not going to be what I'd typically refer to as a "preview."
For three reasons...
1) Didn't write a preview for Bengals, Browns (Round 1), or Rams, but did for 49ers, and look how that worked out 2) When you're reading this it will either be New Year's Eve day or New Year's day (if it gets read at all), and 3) This is the Browns
Now, in no way am I discounting the significance of the game itself.
It's not necessarily a must-win, but a win and a Ravens loss would hand the Steelers the two seed and a first round bye, which I don't think you need me to tell you would be a major coup for a team with key players injured all over the field.
But the reality is, in terms of internet usage this weekend, I'd expect it to be a fraction of the norm (ie - probably one person will read this instead of the normal three).
Following the path blazed not long ago by our boy, Mike Wallace, Brown eclipsed the 1,000 yard mark in just his second season, after becoming Ben's 2nd favorite target (maybe even overall favorite), and a starter about 2/3 of the way through the season.
[sidenote - do yourself a favor and click here to see who he's got more receiving yards than (spoiler - it's all but 15 guys in the league)]
Not to mention, he's on his way to Hawaii by virtue of the ~28 yards he averaged on kick returns (3rd in the league) and ~11 yards he averaged on punt returns (9th in the league).
And of course, he's got a top five TD celebration.
Definitely MVP level swag.
5) Roethlisberger's Revenge?
So, in conclusion - go Bengals.
As usual, if you get a chance before you drink yourself into a champagne coma later, turn the lights off and hit play on this...
There were many big contributions tonight, but arguably none bigger than Ben coming back after absorbing that hit I can't get out of my head in the 1st half, after which he could barely limp off the field.
16/21 for 280 yards and 2 TDs, with a broken thumb on his throwing hand, and a high sprain on his left ankle.
Heal up, dude, but what a machine.
Something that looks more like a recap to come.
In the meantime, good win...
Feel free to deposit any and all thoughts in the comments.
If this is what happens when I don't write a preview, I'm never writing another one again.
Last week, there was apparently much crying about how the Steelers only beat the Kansas City Chiefs by 4 points.
A blocked field goal, a punt return touchdown, a (forced and) recovered kickoff fumble, an Ike Taylor pick, Hines Ward over 12,000 career yards receiving, 2 Rashard Mendenhall TDs, 3 James Harrissassin sacks, a 9-3 record, and a partridge in a pear tree.
Sounds like a Pee Wee Herman tequila dance-worthy day to me...