I'd offer some type of witty commentary here, but listen, it's Big Ben on South Park, what do you really want from me?

What I will say is that while they succeeded in giving him a pretty massive dome, I don't think they captured the simple elegance of his current psuedo-mullet nearly well enough.

But lest I start analyzing the intricacies of a cartoon that could easily be drawn by a five year old, I'm just gonna cut myself off here.

Anyways, here's a few clips of the show featuring the cartoon'd up, dopey Big Ben.

Enjoy...







They should've had Ben wearing a helmet.

Oh well, E for Effort.

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How do you like that for Black Irish?

Time to find the closest watering hole, belly up to the bar and pay homage to St. Patrick.



That bird knows his shit.

Do it.

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No, not recent alleged sexual indiscretions...

They're both on the cover of SI's 2010 Almanac, of course!

From the looks of it, Pujols and Usain Bolt better watch their steps, the SI Almanac is trying to give Madden NFL a run for its money.

Harsh reality, folks - this may be the most substantive Steelers "news" you'll read today.

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Listen, I like to make lighthearted jokes about this whole thing as much as the next guy, but frankly, I find this to be a bit over the line - a bit in what we might call, "bad taste."

Plus, I'm already a fan of "Being Raped Gently By Ben Roethlisberger," so I guess that means I'm probably disqualified.

And besides, it wasn't rape, it was sexual assault.

Get your sexual offenses straight, jagoff!

Big ol' tip of the cap to Christy for digging this one up.

She's urging everyone to go to the page and report it.

So get your asses off of here and go make it happen.

Report back when it's done.

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After making a whole lotta noise on his way out last offseason, three years, $9.3 million and a $1.8 million signing bonus have apparently made Larry Foote a Steeler anew.

Which I guess means he's accepted a shared role...?

I'd give you more about this, but in three minutes, I gotta get my ass out of this lecture hall.

So, talk amongst yourselves...

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[Image unceremoniously "borrowed" from someecards.com]

If you haven't already been "encouraged" to join 16 different March Madness pools, you probably aren't American.

Usually I like to refrain from adding one more log to a fire that could already burn for years on its own, but as I've been running the Hollywood Shower bracket challenge for the last two years, I figure I'll grandfather myself in.

Anyway, if you wanna join the fun and fill out some brackets just follow this link - http://hosho.mayhem.cbssports.com/e

And the pool password is "turcgod" (yes, you've got that right).

Do work, kids.

It's Robert Morris's year.

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[Check it out -- I'd provide an image here, but you know, technically, TMZ hasn't given me permission to do that...so make sure you click on the "Ben-a-palooza" link below...otherwise, you're going to be very confused]

Ben-a-palooza?

Custom-made event t-shirts?

A pack of dudes drinking heavily as part of a private party where only chicks are allowed...

The deciding factor is probably whether/how many times this group of bros requested "Don't Stop Believin'" and/or "Livin' on a Prayer," but it appears that Ben's life is apparently just one big frat party (but without the roofies).

And no, there is no other reason for this post.

Can you dig it?

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